I hate that a value has to be put on me.
Something about the whole process of how you’re being pigeon-holed into a few grades, where your whole year’s worth of work is summarized into one number and a few sentences. The whole idea of something judging and evaluating and then ranking you based on their impression of the work you’ve been doing… just adds unnecessary stress and and pressure into life. And it doesn’t help that part of what goes into this process, is you selling your own work and how well you have done it. It adds unneeded wayang-ing and posturing, and it’s pretty much all in the hands of the boss. And I don’t aim to please boss, I please God.
This is not to say that I don’t like feedback or constructive criticism. I think the process of self-improvement and trying to be better at what you do is important, but I don’t do it for the purpose of impressing my boss or getting a better appraisal, but for glorifying God and for using the gifts he blessed me with. And while God can see my heart, but my bosses can’t. A lot of their questions about planning for my future career and having a long-term plan doesn’t sit well with me, because my plan is to to simply follow wherever God points me to go. Since my goals in life are different from a workplace’s, how can my workplace effectively judge and appraise me?
Gah, I really don’t like work appraisals.